Ruthless Transformation

"This the power of the Cross-

Christ became sin for us..."

I rub the creases in my forehead, my eyes all squinted shut. 

Three days I've tussled with those words-- 

Arms folded in the morning sun by french doors; watching sunrise through the ambulance windshield; on my feet, at the kitchen sink; on my back, late and early; in my seat at breakfast, in my seat in the office, in my seat in the car... On my knees.

And I don't understand. 

I don't understand how that Jesus could suddenly be that which was completely opposed to His nature. How He could be so thoroughly, so ruthlessly... What? Transformed? No... yes.

I don't understand, other than what the verse says...

"For He hath made Him to be sin for us, 

Who knew no sin; 

that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him."

II Corinthians 5:21

That is to say, the Father made His Son to be sin for us, though (even while!) it was completely foreign to His beautiful heart, 

that I might find freedom, which is totally foreign to mine.

I don't understand. 

But I hear this little question, ringing through the halls of my mind:

If Light was willing to be made dark to accomplish God's purposes in freeing a race,

should not smiles be willing to be made tears?

should not fullness be willing to be made hunger?

should not rest be willing to be made sleeplessness?

Should not I be willing to be made anything? 

Anything Providence desires?

Even if it is entirely contrary to my nature?

Even if it is a ruthless transformation...