I sit on black leather watching the day wake up past curtains drawn back on french doors. My thumb in the COL on my lap, my other hand behind my head... Countless yellow flowers sing “September!” in the morning sun’s first glow.
My mind is far away.
I know God gives back. You’ve heard it said He never closes a door without opening a window-- Never takes anything away without giving something better in its place.
I know.
But what of the times...
You know what I mean? Sometimes God grants that the fire should burn through our lives, and take away the dross...
And other times God grants that fire should burn through our lives, and completely consume the treasures.
And He doesn’t give them back.
I’ve had my share of fire over the years. And I’ve held on to more than my share of promises.
[The sun creeps across the floor and up the side of my desk; warms the cover of my journal.]
And I’ve probably written miles of ink lines in those books.
But this week, this morning, I’ve learned something.
Something that gives me chills up and down my spine... and makes my blood surge jubilance.
The times when the fire burns through and takes treasures, leaving nothing to hold on to but memories of fire and smoke--
God has still given.
He did give you something better.
He gave you the fire.
My soul tingles.
If I am a soldier, if I am a victor, if I am free...
It is thanks to the treasure of losing everything, and never getting it back.
I sigh and smile.
I am free.
“Blaze, Spirit blaze. Set our hearts on fire...”
Mm...thanks for sharing that. I hate losing treasures. But some day soon He will give back everything worth having. Sometimes I wish it was easier to just let go of them. Sure glad for the promises.
ReplyDeleteAhh, yes... But if it were easy to let them go, would the loss cause us to change? I'm learning that sometimes "blessings removed" are "blessings bestowed"...
ReplyDeleteThank you. It spoke straight to my heart. [I'd say more (for indeed, there is more to say) but I've tried four times, and it hasn't come out right.]
ReplyDeleteGood point, Sean...very true. I hadn't really thought about it just that way before. All things truly do work together for good...
ReplyDeleteIf you had written these words one day earlier, they wouldn't have meant half as much to me as they do today. Yesterday I fought the seemingly endless consuming of treasures. I fought the Fire till late into the night. But finally, I embraced the truth that yes, "God has still given"...There is so much relief.
ReplyDeleteAnd those miles of ink, isn't is such a testament to how much He gives? Next to my Bible, there are few things that encourage me as much as looking back on His past blessings.
Thank you so much for posting this.
@Sarah: "All things truly do work together for good..." Truest statement getting truer. That's our theme song these days...
ReplyDelete@Sara: Your word, "relief" hits the nail on the head. There's an ecstasy in abandonment to His plans. Like a new lease on life.
And you're right, I don't know where I'd be without journals...
Been thinking of you and your family this week. Praying for you. Aubs and I have had a couple good talks lately. Consuming Fire...consuming treasure...hmm. I have to say I hadn't taken it as far as you just did. Am I trying to hold on to something just because God gave it to me? I have some things to think about. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for your example. Press on. Blessings....
ReplyDelete"All things work together for good to them that love God" is a promise that we should claim even when it seems that the fire is consuming the treasures in our life.
ReplyDeleteI know how hard it is to let go completely, and trust His leading...
Trust His working...
Trust His consuming fire...
I am reminded of a quote by Jim Elliot, "The gaining of Christ is both an inward reckoning of loss and an outward suffering of it." ... there is never a loss without a purpose.
ReplyDelete@Jenae: God is so, so good to us. I would not trade my commission for any consideration. And I would never trade strength gained for treasure lost. I'm not even tempted. But it's taken me years to learn fully...
ReplyDelete@Esther: "there is never a loss without a purpose." Wow. Thank you... If just one drop of the glory of God can be revealed in human flesh, what more can we ask for?
As I've cogitated this concept, I have wondered-- Maybe sometimes what I count as treasures are but dross in God's eyes. That is, when dross is anything that prevents the perfect purification of the truest treasure: the gold of faith and love--even when the "treasure" is in itself a good thing. Only the Refiner knows what is truly dross to each of us--and thus what stands in the way of our fullest joy. Thanks for sharing; it has given me food for thought in my own daily refining process!
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